Help! I Can’t Do This by Myself Anymore

Caring for an elderly mother can be rewarding at times; however, it can also be one of the most saddening and vexing experiences. Because mothers deserve to be treated like princesses as they get older, you might feel obligated to constantly care for her. However, this can be trying on anyone’s patience causing emotional breakdowns and short tempers. Here are some suggestions on how to lessen your stress so you can spend more quality time with your mother and less time feeling resentful.

Senior Citizen Living

Sometimes, it is not necessary for an elderly mother to have constant care. She might still be mobile and able to take care of herself. In this case, she might be happiest living in an area that is designated specifically for senior citizen living. Your mother will be able to socialize with people who are all in the same age group and walk of life. This is a positive situation for both you and your mother. Your mother will still feel free and independent, while you can visit her as often as possible.

Assisted Living Complexes

For those mothers who need more help, an assisted living complex is an excellent option. Although an expensive option, those with the means should consider this. Sometimes you can get too busy to properly care for your mother. The people who work at these assisted living establishments get paid to take excellent care of the elderly and ensure that they are healthy and safe at all times. Often, this is better care than you can give your mother at your house. Lives get busy, and truth be told, sometimes mothers can be neglected. If your mother is in poor health, she may get more thorough care at an assisted living complex.


Taking care of an elderly parent can be a fulltime job depending on the health of the parent. As much as you love your mother, providing constant care can breed feelings of resentment. Hiring a caregiver for a few hours a day is a choice that will give you the gift of some free time to run errands or take a warm bubble bath. Caregivers can even be hired to live around the clock with your mother. This provides you with someone who can take care of your mother while you focus on spending quality time with the woman who gave you life.

Ask For Help

You might feel like it is your responsibility to take care of your elderly mother; however, in many families, there are more people willing to help if you ask. Contact any close brothers and sisters, nieces and nephew, or even your children for help. Even if they take a few shifts a week, it will provide you with some time for yourself. Explain that you love taking care of your mother, but you do need some help. Family can be an outstanding resource to utilize.

If you have any resources you found helpful or experiences that you would like to share please do so in the comment section below. I hope this will be a help to someone in need. – Barb

About the Author

BarbBarb is a wife and mother of 4 children, together with her husband Tom, they are dedicated to publishing helpful articles and resources in hopes of helping others who are currently going through similar struggles of caring for aging parents at home as they went through.View all posts by Barb →

  1. John Ruocco
    John Ruocco03-23-2012

    You might be interested to know that there are alternatives to institutional care that are not only far less expensive but can also result in a financial benefit to the family of a loved one in need of a part-time (or even full-time) caregiver. One such alternative is a home modification called “Practical Assisted Living Structures” (PALS) that promises to give a great number of elderly and handicapped the ability to live economically and comfortably at home rather than in a costly, impersonal institution. A visit to will give you a more complete description of “PALS” modules. These home additions are designed to quickly and inexpensively modify virtually any home to provide the homeowner with a specially-adapted bathroom, bedroom and living space (including a kitchenette in some models) for use by an elderly or handicapped family member in need of such accommodations. When no longer needed, these additions can be removed and resold or they can be retained by the homeowner and easily modified to serve as a “master suite” or any other purpose the homeowner wishes.

  2. Anne Mathews
    Anne Mathews04-23-2012

    We checked out the pal module and thought it was overpriced. It was also impractical for our situation- as we had no where to put the module. teenie tiny yard. We used all of the great ideas and advice from this site and turned our 2 car garage into the perfect apartment for my mother. It cost a lot less than the module- yet incorporated all of the same things- and more personal touches. We acted in time- before it became a dire emergency that she move in- while because of health problems we could see it looming pretty quickly. It only took about 8 weeks and is perfect. Of course there are alternatives to institution care and this is one. I love the articles here – they are so helpful,. and REAL

  3. Tom

    Thank you for your warm words. This is a tender subject. Your comment is wonderfully kind. This is exactly what we try to bring to our followers. It is the very thread of our countries fabric. We will find sooner or latter the cause of these horrible diseases. That’s right. We will find causes and cures of them all. We look at these loved ones and say, if not by the grace of God go I. Thank you again. We don’t need any government help. All we need is love for each other.

Leave a Reply

    No Twitter Messages

Pin It on Pinterest

Share This

Share This!

Share this post with your friends!


Get 3 FREE Mother In-Law Suite Floor Plans When You Subscribe!


Plus you'll get great articles, helpful resources, and more to help you make the best choices fro your family. 

Great! Please check your email for the download link and confirmation email.