Everyone Loved Dolly My name is Barb and this is my story about how I became a caregiver to my mom, what I learned, and what I wish I did differently. My mom’s name was Florence, though she went by Flo Flo or Dolly. Everyone liked Dolly. She never had any enemies in this world. I think her gift was complimenting people. She had nice things to say to everyone she talked with. She was my best friend and we hung out everyday. Dolly literally helped me raise my four children. She was always there for me, giving me...Read More
Much like deciding to have a new child, deciding to ask your elderly parent to move in with you is a giant decision that can come with a lot of responsibility and have major repercussions. But sometimes all the extra cost and work can be worth it if the alternative is simply too risky for your aging parent. Your elderly parent's safety is the most important thing, and if he or she can no longer live safely alone, you may have to simply grin, bear it, and take him or her into your home, shouldering the extra load that caring for him or her around the clock will mean. Here are a few tips on how to know when it is time to take your parent into your home. Signs It May Be Time To Move Your Parent in with You Every family and every parent is different, and it's not always easy to tell when the time is right to invite your parent to live with you. Although his or her safety has a lot to do with this intensely personal decision, it is also important to consider your parent's emotional stake in his or her current residence and weigh that against the possible risks of staying there. You don't want to your parent to come to any physical harm, but neither do you want to damage or...Read More
Caring for an elderly mother can be rewarding at times; however, it can also be one of the most saddening and vexing experiences. Because mothers deserve to be treated like princesses as they get older, you might feel obligated to constantly care for her. However, this can be trying on anyone’s patience causing emotional breakdowns and short tempers. Here are some suggestions on how to lessen your stress so you can spend more quality time with your mother and less time feeling resentful. Senior Citizen Living Sometimes, it is not necessary for an elderly mother to have constant care. She might still be mobile and able to take care of herself. In this case, she might be happiest living in an area that is designated specifically for senior citizen living. Your mother will be able to socialize with people who are all in the same age group and walk of life. This is a positive situation for both you and your mother. Your mother will still feel free and independent, while you can visit her as often as possible. Assisted Living Complexes For those mothers who need more help, an assisted living complex is an excellent option. Although an expensive option, those with the means should consider this. Sometimes you can get too busy to properly care for your mother. The people who work at these assisted living establishments...Read More
Seven years ago my father died, leaving my mother to cope alone. Before he died, we knew that something was off with mom, but he assured us that it was just her getting old and he could deal with it. Once he was gone, she got worse and I finally broke down and took her to the doctor. The diagnosis – Alzheimer’s disease. Both my grandparents on her side had struggled with the illness for years before finally succumbing to its damaging effects, so it was no surprise to find out that my suspicions were correct. Still, it was depressing to think of the long road ahead for my mother and the position I would be place in taking care of her. Today, almost a decade later, there are moments when I wish I could just walk out the door and leave her behind. It is awful watching my mother decline, having to clean up after her because she has forgotten how to use the bathroom correctly or chasing her down because she does not want to wear clothes that particular day. It is hard having to tell her the same thing over and over and over, answering the same questions every day, knowing that the answers are entirely new to her, even if they aren’t new to me. It’s overwhelmingly exhausting and it is never-ending. Dealing With Guilt...Read More
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In-Lawsuite.com is a Mother In-Law Suite blog dedicated to providing families with information and resources for mother in-law suite plans, design, elderly at home care, and aging in place. Our goal is to help as many people as possible be the best caregiver they can be for their aging parents and loved ones.