We’ve been there, We tried it.It worked for us.
We chose the in-law suite for our loved one. We decided that we could no longer allow her to spend days and nights alone and made the commitment to bring my wife’s mother into our home. Living on her own she was confused and felt helpless. She wasn't taking medication or supplements and it became dangerous for her to live by herself. We found ourselves making from four to sometimes six trips a day to and from her house. She would forget to hang up the phone. She would be frightened and sometimes she would let strangers into her home no matter how many signs or verbal warnings we gave.
When we brought her to our home it was immediately apparent this was not going to work out as planned. She would not go upstairs to our spare bedroom as we hoped she would. She insisted on sleeping on a couch in our library. There was no privacy for her or for us.
Though we were overwhelmed with guilt, we started to think about the idea of sending her to a care facility. She was a sweet lady in a tough situation. We tried daycare and she said it was for old people and did not want to go.
The Turning Point
We came up with the idea of using one bay of our three car garage and converting it into an in-law suite custom made to fit my mothers needs and likes. Its entrance came directly from our laundry room. We designed and built a bedroom, accessible bath, and small kitchen area. It wasn't big but it was hers, complete with her favorite stuffed animals and pretty things that she loved. By providing her with her own private space we got ours in return. In addition to privacy, we finally had peace of mind, knowing she was safe and well cared for.
She loved it and bragged to everyone who would listen. We had her with us for two years before her doctor told us she needed more care than we could give. It was worth every day that she was able to be with us. The guilt was gone knowing we did everything we could possibly do and the memories we had together will be cherished forever.
Why us? We tried it. It worked for us. We have personally been through the confusion, stress, worry, and other complex issues encountered during this difficult transition. We can help you find the answers to your questions, help guide you to solutions that are right for you and your loved one, and help you take the first steps toward peace of mind for you and independence for your loved one.
ADVANTAGES OF IN-LAW SUITES FOR ELDERLY PARENTS
- Avoid high cost of elderly facilities
- Maintain independence
- Secure feeling
- Emotional support from family
- Alleviates loneliness
- Help available for meals, medication, laundry
- Simplified lifestyle
- Grandchildren near
- Financial help
- Offer more normal life
- Comfort to know children inherit
ADVANTAGES OF AN IN-LAW SUITE FOR ADULT CHILDREN
- Eliminate maintaining two properties
- No time-consuming trips to parents house (gas saving)
- Convenient to make daily checks on parent
- Eating properly
- Taking medications properly
- Convenient to pay their bills
- More convenient for doing laundry
- Easier to run errands
- Increases property value
- Easier to oversee any in-home health care workers
- Parent may watch children
- May someday use the suite yourself
- Grandchildren coming home from school
- Your care to your parent sets a good example for your children to follow